Let’s talk.
Conversation, dialogue, and in general, communication are essential in a relationship. There must be a connection…somehow, somewhere.
God desires an intimate relationship with us, and as the previous video explained, He greatly values us having good relationships with each other.
So what are the keys to a successful relationship? The critical ingredient is trust. What good is communication if what is said is untrue? This is why truth is so prevalent in having a successful life journey. We follow the personification–the real Truth in Jesus Christ. We put on the armor of truth to guard us against the Father of lies, Satan. We seek to be wise (which combines truth and love) in all that we do. When you think about it, the most useless person on the planet is a pathological liar. You cannot have a relationship without truth, because without truth, there can be no trust.
In good relationships there is a healthy exchange of ideas. You could write books regarding the best practices on this, but this is a blog so we’ll focus on the highlights–in particular, two points.
First, as we’ve just discussed two blogs ago, we are to do everything in love. Therefore, in our communication we are to speak the truth in love. Ironically, there is both a beautiful fragileness–a vulnerability yet it provides incredible strength to a relationship when you are fully transparent and sincere in speaking with another. When you are speaking in love, your motive is to desire the best for another–you have their best interests in mind. If there exists this trust and mutual understanding, then the level of intimacy the two of you can share has virtually no limits.
Second, as Ephesians 5:21 describes that out of reverence for Christ, we are to submit to one another. We’ve often heard that God gave us two ears and one mouth so that we should listen twice as much as we speak. In our communication, we should submit and seek first to understand the other—their position, their view, their emotions and concerns…then express your view for them to understand you. In the book of James (v. 1:19), the Lord’s half-brother advises that “…Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry…”. As our last video mentioned, when we get angry, we give the Devil a beachhead in our relationship…and that is never a good thing.
Being a good listener is not natural. It takes practice. In most cases, when another is speaking, you are mentally thinking about your response as opposed to seeking to fully understand what they are saying. This is ineffective at best. By giving your full undivided attention, you honor the other person, affirm their position, and you strengthen your relationship. Then you can provide your perspective.
Effective salespeople know this. Most sales personnel drone on endlessly talking about themselves and then talk about their product or service. The second part they get right in that they have rehearsed their pitch about what they are selling into a concise dialogue about features and benefits. Better salesmen seek to get the potential customer talking about their needs and desires. Then they can respond with how their product can help them.
In life, we are all salespeople. We share our thoughts and ideas to enlighten, entertain, or influence others.
Our purpose is to glorify God, and our mission is to tell others about His wonderful saving grace–to go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation! (Mark 16:15). Both apostles Peter and Paul remind us that we should know how to answer everyone and always be prepared (rehearse your pitch) to give an answer as to why we believe what we believe (1 Peter 3:15 & Col 4:6). There’s a method to it, however. Peter says to do so with gentleness and respect and Paul says to be full of grace, seasoned with salt. Again, the theme is speak the truth in love
We have the greatest message to share! We have the cure for the spiritual cancer that affects every human! We need to be effective in our communication–we need to speak the truth in love, by listening first in order to connect and empathize. It’s rarely productive to lead off thoroughly soaking someone with a firehose discharge of the Gospel message. It’s not about proving you are right–we know Christ is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. It’s about being successful–it’s meeting others where they are in their journey in life, seeking first to understand them, developing a connection of trust, and building a relationship. That’s what love does.
Paul elaborated on this concept stating that to the Jew, I became a Jew…to the weak, I became weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings ( 1 Cor 9:21-23). We meet them on their turf. We seek first to understand, then seek to be understood by sharing the Gospel–speaking God’s Truth in love.
In our Life Journey analogy, this is where we share with others about our journey. It is our “P” of PROCLAMATION. So, who are you gonna tell? It’s the greatest story ever told! It leads to eternal life! Be prepared (rehearse your pitch), listen first, and then be lovingly bold in your proclamation of faith! Someone’s eternal life may depend on it.
